Six years later...

About 6 years ago, my good friend and staff person, Jenny, took me to goodwill to look for a costume for our upcoming Fall Retreat dance (see pic above.) She helped me pick out a wedding dress that someone had given away. Although, kind of weird to think about the fact that I wore someone else's wedding dress, what is stranger to me is that six years later, I am now the staff who took a student to get a crazy outfit for their Fall Retreat dance.

Do you ever have moments in life when you realize you are no longer in the phase of life you used to be in, and you must process the reality of the phase of life you are really in? The moment in the thrift store getting the crazy outfit, and this past weekend in general I had one continual moment like that. About a week and half ago, as staff women we were trying to figure out what we were going to do for the women’s time part of our Fall Retreat. We sat and thought for awhile and then I suggested talking about what it means to find your Identity in Christ. I was hesitant to suggest it since it seemed like a cliché women’s time talk, but it is still relevant and so important regardless. We continued to brainstorm and then the ultimate question came, “Who is going to give the talk?” I sat for a second waiting to see if anyone wanted to do it and then volunteered, as lately I realized I really like giving talks.

So as our Fall Retreat was this past weekend, meaning I had about a week to prepare this talk, this past week I spent some hours putting it together, while getting amazing help from other staff members. So here is where the “realizing you are in a different phase of life came in.” As I was putting the last details into it and getting my handouts printed, it hit me. I am no longer a student. I am one of those staff ladies that actually talk in front of people. WEIRD!!!! I am one that needs to dress cute throughout the retreat since I'm talking, regardless of the fact that we are in the wilderness and all students are only in t-shirts and jeans (those on staff know what I’m talking about. As a student I thought staff women looked cute all of the time.) During my talk I think I accidentally said something like “God cares about what we do, not who we are.” Thankfully, a student caught it and asked if that is what I said, and I was able to correct myself. Then it really hit me as I realized reality that, as staff, students actual take anything you say more or less as truth. That’s what I did when I heard talks from staff. CRAZY!!!! I mean I’m not going to purposely say something that isn’t truth, but that is huge pressure!

One of the staff mom’s asked me after the talk if it was fun being the “up front” staff girl since my ACD wasn’t there this weekend so I kind of took her place as far as just being in the room when need be. It was kind of fun, but SO weird!!! You would think that since I’ve been out of college 3 years now, going on my 4th year on staff more or less, that this would have all hit me sooner, but all of a sudden I realized…I really am not a student anymore. I’m not even just an intern. I am a full out, this is my job, I am a staff person. Interesting concept really.