October 31, 2002. I was 19. Wearing a cheesy, black Halloween shirt that I'm pretty sure had a witch on it. I sat on a bench in front of Rudder Fountain, a Texas A&M landmark, listening to sprays in front of me shoot up toward the sky.
My mentor had challenged me earlier in the week to think through how to share with others how the Lord had changed my life. I vividly remember laying sprawled out on my bedroom floor wrestling with what to write. What to share. I even pulled out a little voice recorder thinking that maybe if I tried to verbally process, something would come to me. I had been to church my whole life. My parents did an amazing job of exposing us to Jesus and the Bible. Yet, I could not articulate how the Lord had changed my life.
I brought these concerns to my mentor, while sitting in front of that fountain. She listened and then graciously asked if she could go back to the beginning through the foundations of Christianity with me. She shared that God loved me. He had a wonderful plan for my life and wanted to know me personally. But that my sin (wrongdoings) separated me from Him. No matter how hard I tried, I could never do enough or be perfect enough to fully earn my way past that separation because my sin would always be there. Jesus, this man I had heard about often, was not just a man, but God's son. His son that, because God loved His people so much, was sent to Earth. His son, that not only paid the debt my sin made, but allowed me to be credited as right with God. Jesus paid the cost I could not pay through his death on the cross. He took what I deserved. Solely through belief in Him, could I have true life with God forever. I could have forgiveness, love, joy, peace, guidance through the Holy Spirit...a relationship with God Himself never to be separated!
On that day, the truths I had heard my whole life became so much more than just words I heard each week at church. That day those words helps me recognize that Jesus was not just a part of my life, He IS LIFE!
October 31, 2017. I am now 34. We are still healing. The Lord has brought us a long way, and it physically feels like a literal weight has been taken off of us. Yet, in the midst of this new freedom and relief, we continue to mourn what was lost. Not every day and not always intensely, but that part will take a long time, and might not ever fully disappear. I'm not sure it's supposed to.
Each year on my spiritual birthday I choose a song. Maybe a song that I went to over and over again throughout the year. Maybe one that, through it's words, depicts the past year. Often one that was the prayer I desired to continually be in my mind and on my tongue.
The words to "Your Mercy" immediately drew me in when worshiping at church the past couple of weeks. When the world felt like it was swirling around me this past year, when there were so many unknowns, when I was faced with disappointment because the desperate prayers so many prayed weren't answered the way we were praying toward, I went back to those foundational truths I heard 15 years ago. The eternal hope, relationship and life I have in Christ. Throughout those months, besides praying "Lord, help," another phrase often on my lips was "Use this for Your glory" or as this song shouts, "Be Glorified!"
YOUR MERCY
Jaleesa McCreary, Marcus Dawes, Brett Land, Aaron Ivey
copyright 2017 Austin Stone Music (ASCAP). All rights reserved.
VERSE 1:
I was alone I couldn't find my place
'til Heaven reached down, Your love it called my name
Out of my shame out of the dead of night
Into a hope, into Your marvelous light
PRE CHORUS:
It's Your mercy I don't deserve Your mercy
That You would reach down for me and keep me as Your own
For Your glory I'm living for Your glory
And I will tell the story of Your unfailing love
CHORUS:
Be glorified, be lifted high
In all my life, be glorified
VERSE 2:
Though I may run though I may fall apart
Chasing this world things that will break Your heart
But faithful and true sure as the rising sun
One thing is true one thing is sure to come
_to PRECHORUS
CHORUS 2
Be glorified, be lifted high
In all my life, be glorified
Be glorified, be lifted high
In all my life, be glorified
BRIDGE:
I've tasted and seen that You are good
You're walking with me just like You said You would
And all that You say every word is true
Oh whom should I trust Jesus I trust in You
I've tasted and seen that You are good
You're walking with me just like You said You would
And all that You say every word is true
Oh whom should I trust Jesus I trust in You
_to CHORUS 2
_to PRECHORUS
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